From

Location

Message

Date Posted

Rhode Island

Dear Abbypappy

Ever since my husband became involved with growing giant pumpkins he has spent less and less time with me and the kids
He seems consumed with his quest to grow a big pumpkin and has lost all interest in anything else.He calls me constantly to check his plants but never asks how im feeling

The only way i can get his attention at bed time is to wear a orange t-shirt with a pumpkin on it.

The lawn grass is getting higher and higher and we dont even eat our meals together anymore

Just last night he spent three hours on the phone talking to his pumpkin buddies and only a couple minutes with me and the kids

The rest of the time hes on that stupid computer looking things up on Big Pumpkins .Com

Then, last mopnth he drained our checking account buying seeds at an internet auction. we are broke
what should i do Abbypappy?

signed
flustrated wife and mother

Dear Flustrated

Your in the same boat as thousands of other pumpkin widows.
You are not alone, in fact there is a womans group starting up called " the bitch and moan club " in your area of the country
The ladies meet once a week to complain to each other about there husbands.

Best advise i can give flustrated is to put more effort into your marriage. Try showing your husband some man love.
get out there and help him in the patch, wear something trashy so he knows you care, stop complaining and suck it up.
Pumpkin season only lasts most of the year. you can have him the rest of the time. jesus grow up will ya?

PS-got a problem? ask abbypappy

1/5/2008 7:13:41 AM

Brooklyn Corner, Nova Scotia

There will be some interesting posts I think-LMAO.

1/5/2008 7:16:22 AM

Rhode Island

Dear abbypappy

i have a similar problem. im a female grower and my husband is a couch potato. he would rather sit around drinking beer with his buddies, eating snacks and watching sports on tv. what should i do?
signed
Patch Princess

Dear Patch Princess
Sounds like you need a new husband.kick his lazy ass out until such time as he brings that beer into the patch and starts helping you.

One way to get him to help may be to move the couch and fridge out into the patch.
He could help water while laying on his backside sipping beers.

He may also be able to do some pruning as well .Just tape a knife onto a long wooden pole.

Dont giveup on him princess. The fact that he likes beer and sports means he has some redeaming qualities

1/5/2008 7:44:09 AM

southwest MO

abbypappy,
I think you have just provoked my wife into her first post on BP.com...
You must be on to something!

1/5/2008 9:25:31 AM

[email protected]

Very funny stuff Pap!

1/5/2008 11:57:49 AM

Minnesota

Dear Abbypappy: I finnaly found something to do with my time that I enjoy, it certainly is'nt hurting anybody, my question is, when I'm on the computer at bigpumpkins and she says "Your at that site again, is that all you ever do" Should I stand up and say "Why are you being such a BITCH" or should I just let it blow over, not let her proke me,,,,I usually just let her vent it. Thanks abbypappy

1/5/2008 12:03:39 PM

Rhode Island

dear richard b from burnsville minnesota

i have often been faced with the same problem here at the abbypappy ranch. i usually do one of two things

1. get off immediately only to sign back on once shes out of sight
or
2. tell her where to get off, then sign off and run outside for a smoke. sign back on immediatly upon reentering the house

hey they have there constant hour long (or better ) phone conversations that go on many times during the day.

we need something to keep us company as well

show her whos boss.this is all out war. are you a man or a mouse? ----------i like cheese lol

peace be with you

abbypappy

1/5/2008 1:45:24 PM

Minnesota

Yeah, I feel better already.

1/5/2008 1:48:43 PM

Rhode Island

lol

1/5/2008 1:54:00 PM

Owensboro, Ky.

Dear Abbypappy, I am currently living back at the family farm with mom!!! She thinks I am crazy!!! Tryin to grow a pkn that wont fit in my lil truck!!! I would like for you to send all request's from female growers, lookin for a partner, directly to me!!! LOL Young, thin, agressive, and ownership of a bass boat, would be great attributes!!!! Peace, Wayne
PS....send picture of boat!!!!

1/5/2008 2:35:16 PM

North Smithfield, RI USA

Dear Abbypappy, the 1700 pounder just split, SVBS are partying in the vines, Friends of animals are at the door with the Police cause I shot 6 Woodchucks, DEM says Merit can't be used in RI, Worked OT all week and didn't have time to prune, The well is dry and can't water ! And my wife don't give a hoot about all of this ! ???????????????????????????????????????????????
AbbyPappy, what the heck shall I do ???

1/5/2008 4:16:19 PM

Georgia

I see no disrespect what so ever just a little humor. Good stuff PAP ya made me laugh.

1/5/2008 4:54:02 PM

Minnesota

It was in good fun.

1/5/2008 5:43:40 PM

Dayton OH

This is great stuff. The writers strike guys better take notice -- they've got some competition waiting in the wings. Lol.

1/5/2008 6:30:50 PM

Farmville, Virginia ([email protected])

Pap, awesome stuff! I just got the best laugh I have had in a few days reading your posts! Keep'em coming!

P.S.
As far as the "bitch and moan club" comment...your response to "patch princess" pretty much bashed the male side also. Seems like even score to me!

1/5/2008 6:32:45 PM

Ohio

Lol, I thing that hits home for alot of us.
Kind of the same reaction I get from my wife when I tell here I am digging up more of the back yard. Hey at least its less to mow.

1/5/2008 7:40:58 PM

Rhode Island

jorge, abbypappy says not to worry - soon the season will begin anew.
if your wife wont cooperate id suggest going in another direction/ oh ya ---- start drinking more inbetween plant prunings as well

lisa, abbypappy says you really are to far from neverland if you cant tell when someone is joking around.
besides, most wives who dont like the hobby do partake in a lot of self pitty --- AKA bitching and moaning.

its all good though. i have no problem with any of it.
there are a lot of good female growers who will agree their husbands act the same.

1/5/2008 7:47:37 PM

Belmont, NH

I have 3600 sq/ft of less mowing now because of my tiller. So much of this post hits home it's funny. Three less apple tees and one less cherry tree as well. LOL.

Bruce Hooker

1/5/2008 7:53:56 PM

Minnesota

post jacking...Mr. Fixit says thats that.

1/5/2008 7:54:03 PM

Puyallup, WA

Dick.....when I showed this to Nancy even she had a good laugh! You are a riot!

1/5/2008 7:56:04 PM

[email protected]

A female pumpkin grower perspective here, this really does hit home in more ways than I care to count. However, I have a truly great supportive husband who will help whenever I need it in the patch, with tilling, and all the hard labor stuff he knows I wouldn't be able to do myself. It's really great when couples work together to make one happier doing something that they absolutley love. They may not understand it, but, they appreciate all the hard work that goes into the patch when they do help you.

This is great stuff pap aka abbypappy. Great Winter reading, and if ya can't laugh, what's the point! I just had the best chuckle of the day after a busy day. Thanks pap!

1/5/2008 8:34:05 PM

Mt Vernon Ky

abby pappy DID MY WIFE E MAL YOU THAT LETTER AGAIN VIC IN KY

1/5/2008 9:52:55 PM

[email protected]

Dear abbypappy,

I'm a grower. I bought my wife THE state of the art commercial mower so she can cut the grass in style & have dinner on the table on time while I slave away in the patch. I fired the gardener & yet she still wants the housekeeper to come twice a week during the growing season or I'll have to eat out!

The budget's getting slim so it's manure or food?

What's a grower to do?

1/5/2008 9:57:29 PM

South Bloomfield, Ohio

Figure a way to put manure in the diet?

1/5/2008 10:22:59 PM

Ohio

Abbypappy,

For the last 4 months my wife has been farting in her sleep which in return has been waking me up to where I cant get back to sleep, once I'm up, I'm up, and nothing I try can make me fall back asleep. I have even tried to sleep in the basement but to no avail, the noise is extremely loud and the smell penetrates through concrete or any man made material for that matter, the smell is almost like being hit in the face with a spoiled bottle of pepper spray, not only is the smell bad but it burns your eyes and the hair on your arms. I tried to get my wife to change her diet but she refuses, she only thinks about her self and is selfish when it comes to me. I know this isn't good for my health and I have told her that. I have found myself always tired at work making my job performance below average, people at work tell me they see a change in me and that it isn't for the good. I need this job to provide for my family but afraid I will be losing my job soon because of it. This is going to end up to us getting divorced, but I love my wife with all my heart. I cant take this anymore and my wife just doesn't care and thinks its funny.

Thank you ABBYPAPPY,

fROM; ''The smell is bad here in Ohio''

1/6/2008 5:09:35 AM

Rhode Island

dear soon to be divorced in ohio

abbypappy says
theres noting wrong with a little gas in the work shop. in fact i encourage it.
a woman whos not afraid to speak her mind is my kinda lady.

Instead of wining about it you should try and resiprocate with some flatulance of your own. Show her you care. Stop complaining and start showing her some mountain love

PS-- If the air does get to heavy and the wallpaper starts to peel? id suggest both of you put depends on covered by an outer layer of bubble wrap.
Disguard in am - do not try and burn

Dear Diamond Lady
Abbypappy is proud to know a couple whos hobbies run together. You are the exception in the hobby and are on our list for husband and wife team of the year.
Ill bet you never accused your husband of likeing the pumpkins more than you ?

dear tremor
abbypappy says some woman ya just cant please. Ya bought her a new lawnmower (was it a push mower or ride on)
Ill bet you also left her a list of the meals you prefered so as not to confuse the situation?
My wife also insisted on a house keeper so i bought her her own mist blower. she opens the windows and blows all the dust out. I also bought her a hound to clean the dishes.

Ya gotta be carefull not to spoil the ladies. Give um an inch and they take the whole ruler(that be us of course )

Look-if she wants to be decient about it and help weed ,etc, then by all means treat her like the lady she is.
If shes non compliant then you must remove some of those extras she is used to

Wayne

Abbypappy loves the fact that you will go a courting in your fancy bass boat.Is it equiped with matching trucker caps ? complete with camo covered seat covers ?
Theres gotta be hundreds of woman out there that would fight for the chance to go fishing with you. Id bet they will feel right at home helping in the patch as well.
I suggest running an add in the next sngpg news letter titled
" HAVE BASS BOAT WILL TRAVEL "

ABBYPAPPY

1/6/2008 10:28:56 AM

Newmarket, NH USA

Dear AbbyPappy this is the best I am still laughing. Being a grower for 10 years plus I have seen these sort of situations often. You should get at least an hour of mic time this year at Niagara and I am sure it will interject a lot of great humor on the other side of this crazy hobbie. I would have it no other way LOL. Matt

1/6/2008 11:51:39 AM

[email protected]

Dear abbypappy,

As the snow is falling, what does one do to stay in the pumpkin zone to cure cabin fever? I've seen another thread on this, but, frankly, I don't like beer that much, so is there anything else one can do besides drink wine and read bp.com to stay focused on some things to prepare for spring? My patch is visible now and tempting me. We're going to get some Spring weather this week, and I really am anxious to get out there and start looking around to see what I can do before the next snow storm zaps me back into reality. LOL! Any thoughts? Anything to keep sanity, or not.

1/6/2008 7:24:37 PM

Ohio

lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1/6/2008 7:56:08 PM

Somers, CT

AbbyPAP,

Why were Minivans invented?

Rob

1/6/2008 8:17:34 PM

Minnesota

Dear Abbypappy, I plan on two plants next spring, I have a few seeds in mind, my problem is I don't know which would be the best two plants to plant. I don't really have the expertise, this will be my 2nd year. I was thinking, a wallace seed, 1445 marsh, 1443 palmer is what I might soon have, which of these 2 seeds should I go with? or should I take up a offer with people who are offering free seeds that have the 998 pukos in it,,next year I would like to have some good seeds for myself. Thanks, Richard B.

1/6/2008 10:44:29 PM

[email protected]

Abbypappy
I keep having this nighmare, that a pumpkin grower from Ohio keeps stealing my Wallace seeds, would it be alright to send the Rhode Island Mafia after him?
Sleepless in the North

1/7/2008 12:42:26 AM

Ohio

'

1/7/2008 4:55:10 AM

Ohio

;-)~

1/7/2008 4:59:10 AM

Rhode Island

dear diamond lady
abbypappy says just the fact that your husband supports you giant pumpkin goals should be enough to keep you going through the winter. plus you have joe pukos and other great new york state growers to lean on.
id also suggest starting a few junk seeds, let um grow a while.
do a lot of reading on soil balance and micro activity in your soil. plant a lot of wallace seeds this spring.
a shameless plug
with a name diamond lady how can you miss?

dear rob t
abbypappy thinks mini vans were invented for newbe growers to transport pumpkins those first couple years.
after which hopefully a full service 3/4 ton or better will be needed

dear richard b
there are so many excellent crosses available tody that picking one or two would be a disservice to the other growers.
any seed from a reputable grower will have the potential for success says abbypappy. ya gotta send out a few bubble packs to the growers you want sees from.

dear iceman
abbypappy has heard of that boswoerth guy from ohio. he is on our dart board at the ri mafia headquarters.
we call him the stalker 1-0-6-8.
just the other day he offered up his entire war chest of seeds (plus his wife ) for a 1068. promised to deliver them as well.

if he continues to harass you ill send freddie "mr. rhode island" macari and eddie "three fingers" giarrusso to have a little chat with him

abbypappy

1/7/2008 7:29:55 AM

Delaware, Ohio

Pretty funny stuff here! I was just posting a diary entry and my husband asked me who I was talking to...I told him I was posting on BP's. He rolled his eyes and said..."here we go AGAIN"!

1/7/2008 7:58:31 AM

bliss,n.y.- heart of Wyoming County

Dear abbypappy:
I do not drink alcoholic beverages. This year critters destroyed by two best pumpkins. Does drinking help the smaller pumpkins look bigger?

1/7/2008 9:14:18 AM

Minnesota

Thanks abbypappy,,look out world, here comes some bubble packs.

1/7/2008 9:40:46 AM

Rhode Island

abbypappy says yes social studies teacher a couple of cold ones works wonders.
drinking in the class romm also makes putting up with the kids a lot easier to
i have foumd the more you drink the bigger and better you pumpkin looks.
ps-- try putting out some moonshise for the critters to drink. after which they will stumble unto the road and get squished. problem solved

1/7/2008 9:42:20 AM

Minnesota

Dear AbbyPappy,
Sometimes it seems to me that Pumpkin growers are way happier than squash growers. Do you think there is any truth to this?

1/7/2008 2:29:00 PM

[email protected]

Dear Abbypappy,

Are there any specific methods on seed starting you can share to keep me occupied? Do you use regular potting soil? And is there a preference needed, beer or wine to go with that seed filing? I prefer wine. Not Whine, wine.

1/7/2008 3:52:38 PM

Little-TON - Colorado

DearAbbyPappy,

My wife said she is tired of nothing but Pumpkin, Pumpkin, Pumpkin. She is quite jealous of my successes with pumpkins and the new club I have started up, in my 3 short years of growing. When the kids came at halloween they were amazed at the size of the pumpkins on our porch, it made our problems even worse because everyone was so excitied about Pumpkins, and no one commented to her about anything she did.

She gets quite upset if anyone calls to talk to me about their pumpkins, plans or problems in the garden, so I go into the garage so she doesnt have to hear the P word, to talk to my friends, I need to talk to someone as she doesnt talk to me anymore.
In October I was on "Live TV" at 0500, 0600, and thru out the day. It really made me happy as I was able to promote our club and weigh off on TV, everyone at work was so happy for me, my parents were proud,..... but she was very upset because she knew it would make me so happy and fuel my desire to grow even bigger. We had a great turn out at the weighoff, but my instant TV stardom was short lived as it she got so mad at me, I sleep alone now as she has moved into the other bedroom.

1/7/2008 6:43:05 PM

Little-TON - Colorado

AbbyPappy, what do I do? I never want to give up growing these AG's, I feel it is good therapy for me, I have met so many new friends and they are such good people. I have learned so much, it has made me a better person and a better grower....... I love my wife so much, but it hurts me a great deal to have her treat me this way, and Im not sure I can turn this around..... I dont know what to do.......I love her so much, but I love growing these giants too.....If she leaves me, I will have to start my patch all over again as I will have to move selling my current house, and take down the Wizardnator....but maybe if I move to Rhode Island or Oregon... and start over I could grow a bigger than I could being in this hail forsaken state with my wife that hates me................Please help.......What should I do?

Signed,
Luke S.

1/7/2008 6:43:22 PM

Owensboro, Ky.

"Wiz" I aint no Abby Pappy, but if you just tear down the house!?!??? then she will have to come sleep with you in the garage??? Hope this helps!!! Peace, Wayne

1/7/2008 7:06:00 PM

Owensboro, Ky.

AbbyPappy, sorry I was mis-under stated in my original post...I am lookin for a gal "with" a Bass Boat!!!! Please encourage her to send a photo of the boat!!!!!!!! Peace, Wayne

1/7/2008 7:08:56 PM

Rhode Island

dear safehous orange
abbypappy says yes its true,its true, people that grow green squash always seem to be in a bad mood all the times.
they tend to have short tempers and dont like the fact that pumpkin weights can not be attained while growing greenies.
they are "GREEN" with envy

dear dear wiz, my friend, luke of atar wars fame

abbypappy says even darth pappy can not save you from this man made hell.you need a new aproach

you wife has to realize that pumpkin growers are a very rare breed.
they will spend time helping each other, spend time researching new methods and sacrifice some of there home life if need be.

on the other hand wizard our wives also need to be shown they are appreciated.they need to be rewarded for their understanding. encourafed into submission so to speak.

just last week i sent my wive out of state to visit her mother for the entire month.

if she likes it im going to suggest she stay at her sisters for a couple months this summer as well. im so proud of myself.

wiz this is something you might try. failing the trips to visit family you could take her to the movies once a week. while there buy her a large buttered popcorn, a box of ju-ju beans and chocolate drops. --- lean over and kiss her full on the mouth during the previews.

i hope this helps . you cant spend the rest of your life in the garage,. show her whos boss.

ps--if she throws you out go live with your brother. at least he will understand you pain.

1/7/2008 11:07:40 PM

Pinedale, WY

Now I know why my 1402 stunk when I got it!

1/7/2008 11:30:04 PM

Parker, Co

dear abbypappy,
my husband and i cannot both fit on his 1535.5 lb pumpkin for our annual christmas picture. what should we do?
sitting fat in nap

1/8/2008 6:16:40 PM