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Rhode Island

dear abby pappy

is it ok to till the patch when its frozen? i dont want to hurt the earth worms and think this may help?
a.p.- your a very thoughful young man.id suggest after tilling yo blanket the patch so the soil and worms stay warm.

i have pre-dug the plants main pit area and want to know if its ok to pump my cesspool into the pit? its all natural of course
a.p. - a fantastic idea. i might go so far as to re-route my house plunbing so it empties out durectly onto the patch. kinda like joe jutras did when he grew his world record.

the same guy keeps winning our weigh-off most years . he used to also have a pumpkin entered in his wifes name and she always came in second. what to do?
a.p. - theres a couple things you can do besides actually growing something bigger than him?
1. make loud fart sounds during his trophy presentation
2. let all the air out of his truck tires
3. cut the scale wires just before his pumpkin is weighed

i have friends always asking me how my pumpkins are doing and what im getting for weekly gains,etc. should i be truthfull or lie?
a.p. - lie definately lie. if you tell um the truth then there would be no big surprize when you pull in just moments before the weigh-off is scheduled to start. what fun would that be? always err on the side of shock and lies.

is their such a thing as to much fertalizers and additives?
how about fungicides? do you use them?
a.p. - i give the plants everything i got. i believe if a little is good then a lot should be great,once i open a bag or box? i gotta empty it somewhere-anywhere.
same with fungicides and insecticides - why do something once a week when you can dump a months worth on at a times? saving more time for smokes and beer.

12/16/2010 6:22:38 AM

Johnston, Iowa

Dear Abby Pappy,

The darn deer always seem to trample a pumpkin vine or two!! Would you recommend a deer repellent spray, or just stick a high power rifle out my window and snipe the SOB's (I live in the country, so anything goes). How about Napalm? Would that harm my pumpkin plants?

Sincerely,

Your biggest fan

12/16/2010 11:03:27 AM

Minnesota

Dear Abby Pappy,
I posted a posting, hall of fame for seeds that in there era were worthy of such, stand outs, for instance 1161 is hot now, should probably be nominated to be put in for this year, where as 10 years from now 1,500 might be what 500 pounds is today. Maybe engraved on a plaque or something, seeds could be voeted in here announced in Niagra? the post went over pretty good, alot of seed nomination's, maybe someone with more know how or experience can chime in,,maybe a flock of angels, pumpkin orange even will fly in and know what to do, abby pappy, what do you think.

12/16/2010 12:49:37 PM

Colorado

Dear Abby Pappy,

Every year I send out between 90-100 bubbles, plus about 10 international bubbles. By the time I get all my bubbles back, I just get overwhelmed and don't know which seeds to plant. I never researched the genetics anyway, and just sent out bubbles to the people who grew the 100 biggest pumpkins. Last year I got so flustered that I didn't plant any of the seeds I requested at all. Do you think I hurt the growers feelings?

Sincerely,

bubble boy

12/16/2010 11:59:33 PM

Rhode Island

DEAR PUMPKIN DAN - wanna kbow what works in abby pappys patch? i have a recording of dave stelts speaking at the niagara convention. i play it over and over on auto rewind. have never seen a deer since. neighbors dog stays away as well.

MY SEEDY FRIEND RICHARD B - its all good. anytime you can recognize anything to do with our passion is ok by me.i think this project should be spear headed by our big man in canada EDDY Z.
hell he probably has every one already nominated tucked away in his underwear drawer at home.

DEAR LONGMOUNT PETE - hells bells my long fellow no ya did not hurt anyones feelings and, if ya did? so what. the whole point to sending out seed bubbles is to get as many seeds that you will never plant into those coffee cans you guys in colorado keep saving.
i would even doubble @ triple bubble as many unsespecting growers as possible.works for me and sometimes. telling growers their return bubble never arrived works as well.

12/17/2010 6:13:10 AM

Muddy Waters

Dear Abby Pappy,What should I do,When people(men) want to urinate in my patch when touring.Ive thought about setting up a urinal over electric fence.Do you think this would be a good deturrent? I could dispose of bodys in compost pile!!.It would also cut down on competition.What our your thoughts on this???

12/17/2010 6:45:13 AM

Niagara Falls,NY

Dear Abby Pappy, I used dirt from love canal on my patch. The plants grew like crazy,but then burst in to flames! If I fertilized with asbestos would this stop this from happening? Also do you think the radiaton will mess up the electronic scales at the weigh off??

12/17/2010 9:18:36 AM

Minnesota

Thanks Abby Pappy.

12/17/2010 12:26:57 PM

Johnston, Iowa

Thanks Abby Pappy! If I ever make it to Niagara I'll bring my tape recorder.

12/17/2010 1:10:49 PM

Owensboro, Ky.

HHG, I am no "Abby Pappy", but for yer plan to work, I am thinkin, yer dunna have to crank up the voltage!!!! Deterrant (SP?), yes, but prbly no compost @ 110V!!!! LOL Peace, Wayne
PS...cant wait for the man, to tell us what he does??? LOL

12/18/2010 3:18:24 AM

Rhode Island

DEAR HHG
firat and foremost you should not sit in judgement over who gets to do PP in your patch. this is 2010 after all and while touring your patch everyone should be welcomed should the urge present itself.
immagine how thos poor little kids feel when they have to walk around holding onto themselves while dad plays happY fireman all over the place. lets treat everyone equal here.

ps-i do like your toilet idea but would rather see it sitting atop your mulch pile along with a privacy screem around it for sake of the ladies. after all we are not animals.

12/19/2010 10:37:48 AM

Minnesota

Hopefully Spearchucker Eddie will come along, and lead the way.

12/20/2010 1:08:08 PM

Owensboro, Ky.

not Positive, but think this got a lil twisted!!!! Luv it & Merry Christmas to awl!!!! Peace, Wayne
PS...I hope it never ends!!!! Pap is the ROCK!!!!

12/21/2010 2:37:54 AM

Somerset,Ky

Dear Abby Pappy,

I have a friend that lives in Western Ky. That grow dinky
pumpkins every year. We have tried to help with no rewards
at the end. Can you help?

12/21/2010 9:32:10 PM

Owensboro, Ky.

Unkle Enus,(Mr.SVB's friend) does need Abby Pappy's help!!!

12/22/2010 12:34:46 AM

Owensboro, Ky.

Sorry, VSB!!!

12/22/2010 12:35:24 AM

Somerset,Ky

lmao

12/22/2010 7:16:18 AM

Rhode Island

dear mr. sand bagus and fellow kentucky giant pumpkin growers

sounds to me like uncle enus has been distracted from his pumpkin patch duties.he may be hiding a second hobby from ya all.

does he disapear for hours at a time? could he have another hobby way back in the woods that requires his time?
does he serve his friends a drink from a unlabeled canning jar?

id suggest a full round the clock tailing of uncle enus. find out what the hell is going on there?

12/22/2010 7:23:34 AM

Muddy Waters

Hey PeaceWayne, Im a Handyman grew up in the 70s.Hence the name Handyhomegrown.I grew plants 13 feet tall for medicinal purposes of course.Handy was taken,so was homegrown,so I merged the 2 names.I have a handy man service lic & insured loggo on van its on diary with my 191 melon & 53 Jubilee.

12/23/2010 5:18:38 AM